十万个为什么......

WHY???????????

1) Blogger template down in my comp
2) Could't visit some really important website
3) I love to eat so much
4) Can't get FAT
5) I must wait till SEPT to have lessons on Mon & Fri
6) Must she think that way
7) Am I so PooR...

hahaz... tryin to find solutions.....
when template back to normal, post more....

Drop DeaD

Dead tired after coming back from FOC. Supposed to meet my buddy to get something, but my fatigue overcome me. This FOC is super fun, especially under my OGL, Sau Kit,whom I know during our army days in Training Cadre.

Didn't sleep from wed to thur, thats why I was completely down last night. My group, OG4, was fun. Realised there is a guy in my group, his language is as great as mine. 哈哈... We drank, talked, and play the Truth & Dared game. -Details confidential to those who attended-

The gals, belonging to the 1987s era, are being carefully taken care by the guys. So young hor... 哈哈哈... The greatest fun , I reckon must be my SP night. My SP is as crazy as me, so fun-loving... --Details only to be shared by only Us--

人不可貌相

Today, a total stranger wants to treat me coffee, and he really insist. I was helping this uncle to do ATM transaction, and after helping him, we chatted. Wat language?? Of Course Hokkien la.... Well, actually I wanted to improve on my english, but seldom have the chance, so dun say I'm too super cocky about my Hokkien.... haha. This Uncle was talking about life to me, like a old friend who never meet for ages... grinz~ Eventually, he invited me to a coffee session, which I declined after many attempts. Haha...

Won't be back till Thursday, attending my SIM FOC camp... Just realised I will forgo a total of S$170++ for attending this, as I won't be working.. This amount means alot to a near-bankrupt people like me... So Peeps, do introduce jobs to me, I will greatly appreciate. I am also searching hard for jobs now.. Costs are high everywhere.. Just heard from my mom that Transportation fees are upped!!!!! Why SIM student don't get subsidy on transportation, unlike NUS, NTU?? haiz..... I paid total of S$240 to the GOVT for parking summons.... Haiz......

Looking forward to this FOC, though can't see my gf for 3 days... Haha, she must be damn happy ah rite??

Ya, do I look like Sylvester??? Coz quite a number people say, from my gf to friends to agent... Sianz...... They used to say I'm the smaller 颜行书...
And people dun believe me when I say I can play Piano[grade 8 u noe].... hahaha..... shhh....

人不可貌相-----------------

Ronaldinho VS Zidane

Who's the best??

Best of Mr Inspiration...

ronaldinho

Joga TV

Play Beautifully

Joga Bonito~~~

My body was badly burnt, after having a soccer game under the hot sun.. [quite nice my tan, but i wun take pic of myself to show pple... grinz~]

My Gluteus Maximus was injured. Well Gluteus Maximus refers to the muscles on ur BUTT... Can't walk properly now, really like a Old Uncle, struggling to walk up the stairs.. Don't think I tear the muscle, it will be devastating if its true... Its real Pain... Endure & Excel

My game is based on Speed & Agility... 哈哈.. Though not having the best skills, I will always try to learn more from others. Hmmm, think my best aspect of the game is my deft flicks, those 1-2... Now my teammates know what I going to execute, hence the whole move is a beauty... 哈哈, can't sound too proud here, wait my pals will bash me up... Ok la, I feel sense of satisfaction when I release a good ball... Trying to get others into the play... Haha, sound like I'm a good player, well don't be fool by this uncle. He's just AVERAGE...



Play Beautifully.. I loved to watch his video, and imitate his move... But to no real great success yet... I feel that playing with joy is more important, thats why I like to use pattern when playing.. Soccer is a joy, make the ball happy...Invent more tricks of your own... 哈哈. Simple tricks can sometimes fool opponent, & U will feel on top of the world while executing those moves. Only soccer siaos will understand that kinda feeling...

However, if playing a real, serious match, then I will keep it simple... Results count in the end..

Practise makes perfect. With ideas, try using it on a ball...
Most importantly, in order to excel in this game, U must ALWAYS:

Only then U will fool the opponent and not yourself...

About Me~~

Receive comment that I should write more about myself & my thoughts, rather than FOCUSing on my Enquish...哈哈

我是憨人[wa si gong lang] My gf always say I'm stupid, well its because I will keep her day happy & sometimes miserable by my jokes crap...[well, my jokes mean nonsence to her]

Hmmm, find it weird to write about myself, somehow like advertising myself like that....
I love Soccer..... Love to play the game, whenever its possible... I believe totally with Joga Bonito. Meaning, Play Beautifully... Haha, thats why my friends always say me Pattern more than Badminton...

My favourite teams are Manchester United FC & Barcelona FC... Why?? both teams play beautifully...
My Favourite players are David Beckham & Ronaldinho....
My Favourite Car is Mini Cooper S Cabrio
My Favourite Colour is BLUE

haha... no photoshop so chin chai la....


I love to communicate in HOKKIEN... [grinz~ back to my topic again] I feel specially at ease, and able to get closer to the person I'm talking to.... I'm not a 福建 ah beng ok!!! Kelvin, my fellow PTI friend, is one guy whom I can talk to without using other language other than my 1st language... hmm, ZW also, though his level not as high as mine... haha... My poly friend, Zi, is one gal whom I like to use Hokkien to tease her... WHY?? coz she won't understand... grinz```
BUT, 坏事做太多, retribution struck me... SHe is now using FRENCH to suan me back, together with Pengz...

I love 五月天 songs, especially those hokkien songs.... My gf introduce me to more 粤语(cantonese) hence resulting me loving Cantopop now...

I used to drink alot of BEER, and quite good in guessing game... Well, all being trained by my former Chief & those Cadre Specs haha... Seldom drink now, AND dun associate me as an UNCLE... My worst moment was getting real drunk on my 21st, where I had to be carried home unconscious by my friend... LOSER then... haha

Ok... going sleep soon, still have a soccer game tomolo.... need to rest... Sign off with this song, among my favourites.... Hope U can hear & Enjoy.....[Download at mp3.baidu.com if U cant hear...damn meaningful song...]


五月天 憨人


我的心内感觉
人生的沉重
不敢来振动
我不是好子
嘛不是歹人
我只是爱眠梦
我不愿随浪随风
飘浪西东
亲像船无港
我不愿做人
奸巧钻缝
甘愿来作憨人
我不是头脑空空
我不是一只米虫
人啊人
一世人
要安怎欢喜过春夏秋冬
我有我的路
有我的梦
梦中的那个世界
甘讲伊是一场空
我走过的路
只有希望
希望你我讲过的话
放在心肝内总有一天
看到满天全金条
要煞无半项
环境来戏弄
背景无够强
天才无够弄
逐项是拢输人
只好看破这虚华
不怕路歹行
不怕大雨淋
心上一字敢
面对我的梦
甘愿来作憨人
我不是头脑空空
我不是一只米虫
人啊人
一世人
要安怎欢喜过春夏秋冬
我有我的路
有我的梦
梦中的那个世界
甘讲伊是一场空
我走过的路
只有希望
希望你我讲过的话
放在心肝内总有一天
我有我的路
有我的梦
梦中的那个世界
甘讲伊是一场空
我走过的路
只有希望
希望你我讲过的话
放在心肝内总有一天


ps: currently encounter problems linking the songs.. Can someone enlighten me??? Its a must-hear song, so go to mp3.baidu.com to download & hear...

Uncle-i.n.g Process

Encounter problems when logging to this web.. I can't post pictures currently, hence can only type.. Will try to solve this problems soon...

--------------Uncle-i.n.g------------------------------------------------------------
Now, public phone is really rare in Singapore, especially those with coins one.. Few days ago, my hp was down, and I really need to call. It makes no sense buying a phone card when I will only use it once. Hence I search high & low for a coin phone. Uncle Kiat puts 10c into the phone and talks. 10c is real fast, and within minutes, I hear the 'beep' sound signalling for me to insert another 10c coin. As I was holding a newspaper, I shrugged my shoulder up and hold the headset between my head & shoulder, and with the other hand, dig into my pocket for another 10c coin... So Uncle ah...

My work is dull. And I spent most of the time at the coffee shop drinking coffee. Sometimes, having 2 half boil egg is great. grinz.. I made alot of friends during my work...

Who R They??
Well, those uncle auntie working at the coffeeshop knows me, and talk to me often.
The Old Uncle beside my bank keep talking to me, in HOKKIEN, when I find excuses to go to his shop and rot.

More People are calling me uncle now... Strangers, even my Brudders too... Haiz...
But somehow deep in my heart, I enjoyed it....
Shit~ I GOT A PROBLEM!!!!

---------------------------End of Uncle-i.n.g Part 1---------------------------------

Test.....

This is a test.... Dunno why I keep having problem with this site.. Hence haven update for along time..

Be Back Soon.........

Record Breaking.......

Well well........ We all talk about records being broken all the time... Be it best record or worst record..... Let me share my experience with U......

Not trying to sound proud,[grinz~] I have never received other than GOLD for all my IPPT in army.(Individual Physical Profiency Test) . Proudly saying, I always get GOLD, be it during cat test, trial test or real test, even when I posted as a Physical Training Instructor....

Come saturday, 15 July 2006, I didnt achieve Gold in this Cat test.... Haiz... I'm supposed to report to camp, as a PTI NS man for briefing and IPPT..... I won't be a loser and give excuses like aiyah ORD liao no time train la, aiyah weather too hot can't run la.... grinz~ Haha....
But I must admit my physical level dropped... Only achieved a career low 230cm in Standing Broad Jump.....Those who know me are aware of my knee problem, but that is not an excuse.. I used to jump 243cm... haha...

Hence, with 230cm in SBJ, my GOLD fly away..... A PTI not only should keep fit during army days, but also when he ORD.... i'm a bad example... or rather its a norm... haha.... Keeping fit is a lifestyle, a healthy lifestyle mentality is a MUST... haha..... Wanna know my 2.4km time???

On a hot sunny morning 10am, when the sun is shining mercilessly on Khatib Camp, I clocked 10.21.... Bad Bad....A far cry from my pb 8.45 and the last run 9.00.... Alot of my friends fared worst.... With timings such as 12.00min and beyond... grinz
My gf even mocked me.... haha.. In the army, we classify 2.4km according to the timing clocked, and hence award them with different points.... Below is my gf's classification

2.4km Time
7.30 & below--------Fantastic
7.31 to 8.59---------Good
9.00 to 9.59--------Okie
10.00 and beyond--你是个男人吗????


Physical Training Instructor

Haha... Currently going back to a disciplined healthy fitness lifestyle.... Wanna exercise together?? Can always jio me......


Today at work, I achieved my personal best sales... Total 21 sales... haha.. Abit of luck and hard work actually.... But actually I need to work... Expecting Bankruptcy within 3 months if I'm unemployed....

During my work, when im talking to customer, quite a number of them end the conversation by saying: THANK YOU UNCLE.....
Why??????? I don't look like uncle leh, or is it the way I speak??? But I speak english leh.... Is it the uncle kind of English??? Sianz..........

English Lesson 2.1

I keep listening to the 2 oldies that I posted before... Can U hear in your computer?? Pls Comment should U encounter problems in playing these songs.... Will post some new Hokkien songs soon~~

Ok, from today on, I will try to add more pictures to make this blog more interesting & less dull to read..... Today, Ah Kiat will share some experiences with U.... Try reading these right for the 1st time.....

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present .
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row .
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Haha.... Me?? I encounter few difficulties.. Very smooth in pronouncing these... [Maybe I thought I am right, and there's no one to correct me.....]

Many people tend to have problems pronouncing words with 'r', 'l' in them....

Lady: Any fees for applying this card?
Promoter: Oh, not to worry. The card is fee
Lady: Um, any fees?
Promoter: No, this card is fee...... erm, I mean free....

Guess the mistakes? R U one of THEM???
1) Lets go Marina to Fry kite....
2) That Indian Kali is very nice
3) Can U take a tissue paper for me, Prist?
4) Lets go MacDonald to eat Fench Fives...
5) Yeah, lets go to Suntec Short-ping Centre later...
6) Very hungry, lets go grab some foot
7) I heard that less-tor-lent serves good chicken chop
8) I like to eat Ji-ken chop
9) Is Motolola handphone good?
10) I don't like to go Crubbing......

Haha... actually, If U r very good in hokkien, U are bound to be tongue-tight with words containing letters 'R' & 'L'... U will be confused and pronounce 'R' as 'L', vice versa....
The world is fair.... U can be fluent in English, but not Hokkien; or fluent in Hokkien, but not English... U cannot be fluent in English & Hokkien at the same time, BUT U can be LOUSY in both at the same time.....

Which category r u?????

郑伊健........

郑伊健-古惑仔
Check out these 2 Great Songs..... Muz know how to sing~
[Click on song title to hear it...CantoPop]


郑伊健 我愿你知道

曾一起风中上路
信可并肩改变命途
问为什黱终改不了命数
命呤欠裾娴捻氁^对这黱做
真友好难复配合脚步
从今起孤单上路要找那方不看地图
现在什黱都不想有回报
命呷艄嫦氡莆?
骂我太骄傲痛哭高呼如何做到最好
眼泪向著冷风扫挥酒满我路途
但你知不知今天狂哭我继续醉倒
我愿你知道风请替我代努心却直告
尽管我渴望你亦听未到
望天空星星殒落
算不算得一个讯号
问为什黱不早些去预告
命呷艄嫦氡莆?
骂我太骄傲痛哭高呼如何做到最好
眼泪向著冷风扫挥酒满我路途
但你知不知今天狂哭我继续醉倒
我愿你知道风请替我代努心却直告
尽管我渴望你亦听未到
music
眼泪向著冷风扫挥酒满我路途
但你知不知今天狂哭我继续醉倒
我愿你知道风请替我代努心却直告
尽管我渴望你亦听未到
music




郑伊健 甘心替代你

不管天过风已起
只想依依看着你
夜阑人静会否仍可希冀
经得起优伤与悲
只因心中有著你
路遥长夜记忆从不舍弃
长街的身影穿过风雨有傲气
曾一起出走不怕闯进了绝地
如梦如烟
全像游戏
仿佛天和地在挑选我跟你
如像我亦重遇了生死
难道只好淌泪心痛告别你
无法让我此际替代你
无法让我甘心替代你

天下无白吃的午餐.???

I'm wondering.....and I think most of U agree with me... 天下无白吃的午餐.... I've just received a call from a company, saying the following to me.....

1. Won free 5* hotel stay in Thailand for 8days 7 nights
2. Won some facial treatment(forget exact details)
3. Won free Sentosa stay
4. No Talks, No Terms & Conditions... TOTAL FREE & TRUE..

I think I'm evil..... I am skeptical (correct?? heez speak enquish) about all this.. And I'm quite bad, I'm practically smoking the poor lady throughout the phone session, bombing her with tons of questions which I think she has difficulty answering.... [Smoking---in this case, is an army term, means bluffing, kidding, mocking, lee siao.....哈哈]

In this conversation, Ah Kiat transform from a Uni-Student to a Self-Employed, E-Commence Industry, earning $1,500 monthly(dun quote too high), always making conference calls, busy young businessman.... haha... The lady persuades me to take my gift ASAP, and hence I come out with tons of unbelievable excuses to excuse myself... When asked how the company got my particulars, the lady tried to ignore the questions....

I give a sarcastic comment
Ah Kiat: Wow..... I cant believe I'm so lucky......

Guess wat she replied....
Lady: .........ya 哈哈哈哈.....

Lame.....

Sensing that I'm a difficult prey, she said that she will get back to me.....

I'm actually quite proud of my smoking skills... Haiz dun childish here... OK, today Ah Kiat will share some English he had learnt... Dun wanna teach Hokkien today...

1) Concur---a) To be of the same opinion, agree:
b) To act together, cooporate

Eg: Mark: David thinks that the price it too high.. What U think Edison?
Edison: I concur with him

End of English lesson 1.1-----------------------------------

CHeck THis..... Grinz~

Getting unmotivated at work... Realised I m not really a good promoter. People may think my face, and character is suitable for sales kinda job, well i do agree slightly... I can do sales, but not these kind of cold selling, or hard selling?? Haiz, u must be confused by wat I've said... Well, for my enquish, I think only I can understand.....

Well, in english, a sentence contains a verb, noun and adjective. Check out these 3 words in dictionary if Ur Enquish is worst than mine!!!! In Hokkien, its the SAME, no difference.... Hokkien is a strange but easy language, its easy to pick up... Well, Ah Kiat will share some knowledge with u...


Lesson 1
Important thing to take note-Singing & Saying the same Hokkien word is different...
Eg: 我, will be used in speaking, and pronounce as "Wah"... grinz~
阮, which also means 我, but is used in singing, and pronounce as "Woon"... haha~

我爱的人--- wa ai eh lang(speaking)
阮爱的人--- woon ai eh lang(singing)... heez~~ too cock le me.....

If people ask me to describe myself briefly to them in Hokkien, I will say.........
我不是好子, 嘛不是歹人
(wa4 um3 si3 ho2 kia4, ma3 um3 si3 pai2 lang2)

哈哈哈.... It means I'm neither a good nor bad guy.....

Wanna learn some simple Hokkien?? Check out this beautiful song.. (I used it to win my gal's heart... haha)

五月天 好不好

不知是对或是不对
不知是好或是不好
不知你甘会笑阮憨
夏天西北雨的下午
想你不知影你在哪
真希望看到你的笑容
你的温暖充满着阮孤单的心脏
我不能继续再等待
想要对你说
乎你想
乎你猜
是谁人整眠烦恼
烦恼着
无情的风
无情的雨
阻碍咱的路
甲你疼
甲你惜
甲你捧在我双手中
我一生唯一的希望
要给你快乐
好或不好
日子有甜也有艰苦
有你有我互相照顾
想要听你心内的感想
亲爱你甘有听阮讲
亲爱到底是好不好
甘讲你惊阮没信用
还是你阁有苦衷

(Nice? Ur Hokkien should up to level 1.1 now...) by right

好长的一天....

好长的一天....Ah Kiat returns home from work.... With a target of 40 sales/day, Ah Kiat can say proudly that, He has achieved on his 1st day of work, a sales volume of......... 17 new customer.
Pathetic.... The sun shines mercilessly on me throughout the whole day, and my shirt starts to smell... Ah Kiat recalls at work,,,

At 1430hr,

Ah Kiat: Hello Madam, I'm here to introduce this new POSB GO card to you...
Auntie(Start to turn away): Urm, Sorry, I got work tomorrow, & I need to rush home...

[Haiz, U mean u are rushing home at 1430hr to sleep, and prepare for work tomorrow??? ]


At 1530hr,

Ah Kiat saw a potential customer, who is walking with her husband & 2 kids,

Ah Kiat: Hello Madam, May I......... (conversation cut abruptly)
Lady(Getting my attention to her kid): Eh, Sorli ah, need to lush for time. My kin-na hand leg fat-ture, need to see lock-ter now.... Bo Eng ah, Sorli Sorli.....

[Another lie, the kid looks perfectly Ok... haha, worst the lady's enguish is worst than mine.... So, am I giving excuses for my performance?? U give the verdict..... ]



During work, I saw the same Malay Guy, who drives his scooter down & gives summon to people who park illegally, 6 times. How can people be so serious in their in their work, giving summon of S$70 to more than 10 people.... Haiz..... Playing soccer at 0100hr?? Only the Joga Bonito team.....
Only meet up for Supper, real soccer match on sunday.....

And Please Follow Strictly the Speed Limit!!!!

Ready for work...?

Will be reporting for my new work later.... As POSB Go Card promoter.. I have done sales job before, but this job REQUIRES me to obtain a daily sales of 40 new customers...

How?? Just relax la, i don't think too much into my job... Will be simple, coz of my calibre.. grinz~

Job quite simple la, just have to approach practically everyone!! My target, once achieved, I WILL CLOSE SHOP....

Go rest first before starting work at 1100hrs......

Getting Started...

Finally, due to overwhelming requests, Ah Kiat has started blogging. Yes, he HAS started!! Well, going through the process of signing up is tedious. I have to decide on using which web to blog, after deciding, I still have to think of a blog title, name, etc... I know nuts about computer, and have since return all my knowledge of graphics design back to my lecturer, hence this blog may look dull.... Not to worry, I will slowly brush up my skills....

Speak-Enquish?? how do I think of this title?? grinz~ Well, people around me always comment that I am a Hokkien 兵... They say my 1st language is Hokkien, I can speak Hokkien fluently, and its not those simple Hokkien, but those 'Old People' Hokkien. I even sing Hokkien songs. My chinese isn't fluent... My english?? haha they even comment that I pronounce English as Enguish, June as Zhun, Zoo as 猪, well the list just goes on... Dun wanna embarrass myself here....

Haha, now this site is successfully set up. In future, I will be sharing my life here, including pictures of my life, and many many examples of my Powderful Enguish......

First Blog...

Well, this is my 1st blog.. Just let me start to play around with it, get some hands on before I fully-establish this site..... Cheerz